Beautiful Goodbye
by SlayerRyoko
Summary: Set after "Chosen." It's been a long few months without Spike, but a quick stop off in LA could change everything. SPUFFY SCONGFIC


Title: Beuatiful Goodbye  
  
Rating: PG-13  
  
Summary: Set after "Chosen." It's been a long few months without Spike, but a quick stop off in LA could change everything. SPUFFY SCONGFIC!  
  
Disclaimer: All hail Joss, owner of all things Buffy and Angel. Also note I do not own the song "Beautiful Goodbye." Thank you.  
  
A/N: It's been awhile seens I wrote a Spike song fic, so I thought I'd do it again.  
  
***Fed up with my destiny  
And this place of no return  
Think I'll take another day  
And slowly watch it burn***   
  
For Buffy time had gone on slowly. Every moment seemed like a year. Life without Spike ment little, but she hadn't told anyone that. Everyone believed her to be settled into her new life, but she was restless. She wanted to be close to where Spike had been, which was maybe the reason she had moved so fare away. But as the saying go's, you can take the Spike out of the girl... 'No,' Buffy thought. 'You can't take the Spike out of girl. If the girl loved him, then the Spike will always be there. She hated this world! She hated that she had to be the Slayer. Screw destiny and being called! Screw fighting the good fight! Screw everything! All destiny had done for her was take away something very dear tp her.  
But no one knew. That was the way Buffy liked it, without everyone being totally unaware of her thoughts. Only Spike seemed to be able to see right threw her... with him gone, no one would be the wiser.  
  
***It doesn't really matter how the time goes by  
Cause I still remember you and I  
And that beautiful goodbye***   
  
It was almost Christmas time and Buffy was on her way back to the states for a quick stop to see Giles and check on his new Slayer Acadamy. She hadn't planed on going to LA, becuase she really hadn't thought about Angel and the gang since she had seem him two days after Sunnydale. But somehow, when Giles had told her about how Wolfmen and Heart was doing, she thought it might be nice. So, she made up her mind to go visit an old friend or two.  
  
***We staggered through these empty streets  
Laughing arm in arm  
The night had made a mess of me  
Your confession kept me warm  
And I don't really miss you, I just need to know  
Do you ever think of you and I  
And that beautiful goodbye***   
  
She was surprising Angel, so she snuck up to his office and threw open the door. "Hey, guys! How are---" She stopped as she saw them all gaping at her. Angel, Fred, Gunn, Wes, and... her heart stopped and she almost fainted. THere he was in all his glory! Long duster, combat boots, bleach-blond hair, and those eyes that could see right threw her. It was Spike. The memorie of him standing there, sunlght pooring in on him, came flooding back in great detale. She could feel her hand slip into his as it lit on fire. "I love you." "No, you don't... but thanks for saying it."  
  
***When I see you now  
I wonder how  
I could've watched you walk away  
If I let you down  
Please forgive me now  
For that beautiful goodbye***   
  
As she watched them stair at her, neither group able to find thier voices, she wondered like she had a thousand times before why she had let him stay. She was stronger then him, she could have made him! Why hadn't she told him that she did love him, despite what he thought? Why hadn't she stayed and died with him? And yet, he wasn't dead... She didn't know how, she didn't know why... but he wasn't.  
  
***In these days of no regrets  
I keep mine to myself  
And all the things we never said  
I can save for someone else  
Cause nothing lasts forever but we always try  
And I just can't help but wonder why  
We let it pass us by***   
  
She ran to him and threw her arms around him. Tears where streeming down her face as she repeated his name over and over. "Spike! Spike! Spike!" She felt his arms on her hips, light and caring, almost as if... as if he didn't want this. She pulled back and looked at him with tear filled eyes. "What's wrong? Don't you know me?" "Buffy... of course I know you, pet." Spike whispered, moving strains of hair from her face. He smiled a sad little smile. "But...but you can't do this, love. You don't love me and it's selfish to do this to me." Her heart sank. He still didn't believe she loved him. More tears streemed down her face.  
  
***When I see you now  
I wonder how  
I could've watched you walk away  
If I let you down  
Please forgive me now  
For that beautiful goodbye***   
  
"No!" Buffy cried, totally unaware of everyone watching her. "No! I do love you! Don't you understand?! I love you! I want to be with you forever and ever!" "But you can't, Slayer!" Spike said, shaking his head. "I can't stay on this earth for very much longer! Havn't you figuered it out? I'm only here to be part of some big end of the world thing and then I'll have to be gone again! I'll have to leave you!" "I don't believe that!" Buffy had seen the lie from the moment he had called her Slayer. His eyes hid nothing. "You are lying, Spike! You jsut don't want to get hurt! But I wont hurt you! There isn't a night that goes by that I don't cry over you! Please! I love you!" More tears had begun to streem down her face. She closed her eyes and felt the same strong arms wrap around her. She cried into his shoulder. "I love you, Spike." "Buffy I--I love you, too."  
  
***Baby, what can I do?  
Oh to get through to you  
And sometimes I cry  
It's a fool's lullaby  
Sometimes I cry  
It's just a fool's lullaby  
Oh why..??***   
  
-FIN 


End file.
